Catnap Mattress Co.

Blog

  • Slumber Tunnel Retreat: What Our Customers Whisper

    We have received many letters about the Slumber Tunnel Retreat, most of them written in a very small hand. Mrs. Dolores Mittens of Elm Court writes: I have not left the tunnel since it arrived. I am very well. Please do not tell the vet.

    Mr. Gideon Pounce writes: the tunnel is dark and I can hear my own thoughts. They are mostly about cheese.

    A third letter, from a young tabby named Pip, says only: thank you. We have placed it on the wall.

    We read each letter aloud to the tunnel, once, in the evening. It does not reply, which we believe is the highest form of praise.

  • Inside the Foam: A Visit to Our Workshop

    Our foam is poured slowly in a warm room at the back of the shop, under the supervision of Master Pourer Marmaduke Tuft. He is a cream coloured cat of six who has not, in his working life, hurried anything.

    The foam is poured in layers of one inch, each left to settle for an hour before the next is added. The room is kept at 24 degrees, lit by a single lamp and filled with the sound of rain from a speaker in the corner.

    Marmaduke says that the foam responds to patience. We think the foam is simply too sleepy to argue.

  • Autumn Light and the Lengthening Nap

    As the days shorten, the sunbeam moves lower and further to the left. It lands on the sofa a little later, and it leaves a little earlier. The wise sleeper adjusts. The wise sleeper moves with the light, one cushion at a time.

    This is the season of the long nap, the deep nap and the nap that begins with the intention of being short. We have seen customers lie down at 2 and wake at dusk, wearing the sofa’s pattern on their cheek.

    It is a good look. It is autumn. Allow it.

  • Late Summer Rest Report: The Quietest Season on Record

    Our summer rest report is complete. Between June and August, the Catnap flagship recorded 18,400 visitors, 3,100 sales and a total of 9,722 hours of sleep on display models. This is a record, and a quiet one.

    Pillow sales rose 22 percent. Heated mat sales were down, as the weather was kind. The Slumber Tunnel was our most requested item for the third year running, a trend our analysts describe as cave related.

    We thank you for resting with us. We look forward to a long and drowsy autumn, and to the early dark.

  • Shop Notes: The Ritual of the Morning Mattress Fluffing

    Every morning at 10:15, before the doors open, our team of Rest Guides performs the Mattress Fluffing. It begins with a single note from a small brass bell and proceeds in complete silence for twenty minutes.

    Each guide takes a bed. Each presses it with both paws, sixty times, in a pattern known only to them. A bed that has been fluffed is a bed that has been awakened, and a bed that is awake is more likely to be slept upon.

    Customers are welcome to watch. Many do. Several have fallen asleep during the ritual and have been quietly folded into the display.

  • Hush Blanket Care Guide, in Hushed Tones

    Your Hush Blanket is a living companion and deserves a little care. Wash it rarely and always on a gentle cycle at 30 degrees. Dry it flat, in a room with a view, and do not tumble it.

    Between washes, shake it softly and leave it in the sun for an afternoon. It will release the weight of the week. Sprinkle it with a mist of lavender if the mood suits.

    Do not be alarmed by fur. Fur is a sign of love and a sign of use. The blanket was designed to hold it, in the way a good garden holds leaves.

  • The Science of the Slow Blink

    When a sleepy cat blinks slowly at you, it is saying something. It is saying: I am safe here. It is saying: I do not need to watch you. It is saying, quite possibly, that dinner is late.

    Our Department of Soft Research has studied the slow blink for six years and has so far recorded 41,000 examples. The average duration is 1.8 seconds. The longest, produced by a nine year old tabby named Pudding, lasted 11 minutes, and was later reclassified as sleep.

    We encourage you to return the blink. Hold it for two seconds. Let your eyes close and open again. You have just said something kind, and no one had to speak.

  • Whisper Quiet Pillow Recall Notice: A Small and Gentle Matter

    We wish to share, in a low voice, a small matter. A batch of 214 Whisper Quiet pillows, produced in June, was found to contain a squeaker. It was placed there, we believe, by a member of our own production team named Biscuit, who was thinking of someone.

    The pillows have been withdrawn. Anyone who purchased one may exchange it for a silent replacement or, if they wish, may keep the original. Several customers have told us they like the squeak.

    Biscuit has been spoken to, gently, and has been moved to a role that involves no pillows. He is now our Head of Comfort.

  • How to Choose a Bed: A Slow Consideration

    Choosing a bed is not a quick act. It is a courtship. You must walk around it, sniff the edges, sit in the middle and look away, as though you had no interest. If the bed is the right one, you will feel it in your tail.

    Consider the depth, the lining and the position of the nearest window. Consider whether you are a curler, a sprawler or a loaf. Consider whether the bed has a smell you recognise. A bed you do not recognise is a bed you have not yet met.

    Most of all, consider how you feel when you lie down. The right bed will make you forget you were looking for one.

  • A Note on Warmth and the Sunbeam Simulator

    Many of you have asked whether the Sunbeam Simulator can replace the sun. We answer with great tenderness: no. Nothing replaces the sun. But on the grey days, when the window offers only a rumour of light, the mat may stand in, as a good friend stands in at a funeral.

    It heats to 38 degrees, glows in a soft gold and switches off after eleven hours, because we know you will not.

    Place it near a window. Lie upon it facing the glass. Let the world be a little brighter than it is. That is all we ask of it, and all it asks of you.